Walking/Shooting in his Calling

I heart photography, a whole lot, I probably would write it on my hand just like we all wrote boys names on our hands in middle school but you probably would make fun of me.  I spend all of my free time researching to try and figure out exposure, and posing.  Needless to say it is sometimes a frustrating process, I actually have cried.  I sat in downtown Guthrie crying(I was by myself so there is no witnesses) because I wasn't able to get a shot like I wanted to, but I didn't quit and eventually got the shot.  

I am an impulsive person, and in the past this has put me in situations where I would put myself in a financial bind because I wanted something immediate. God has taught me that this is not of him, and anything worth having is worth working for.  I think that if you want something bad you have to work yourself to the point of getting what you want and God will provide in the meantime.  I want to be a photographer obviously, and of course with my natural impulsiveness I want to have the same equipment, that all the ballin photogs have, like this   --------------->

     <--------------- and that, and ooh definitely this one ------------------------------------>

But realistically I can't afford this yet, and I need to learn so much before I can even get to the point of even using the Canon EOS 5D Mark ii. So I have been borrowing my cousins camera, while I have been saving to buy something pretty inexpensive and used until I can afford the big girl equipment. On, more then one occasion I almost bought all of these things, but then my sense kicked in and I refrained from impulsive desire. Then a couple of weeks ago an act of God happened for this broke college student.  My cousin asked me if I wanted to buy her camera for really cheap, pause for sigh, aww, isn't God so good.  God knew that I needed to master the camera I have currently before I go on to something bigger and better.  It's amazing how he provides when you are walking in his calling. Until I get the big girl camera, I am mastering this little cutie, and by golly I doing my thang with her.